Do you ever wish you could just be 7 years old again?

Remember when you were 7 and the only care in the world you had was a little bit of homework and avoiding getting cooties?
I often wish I could go back to being that age when instead of worrying about bills groceries rent electric finding a job losing a job.....all I had to worry about was winning in freeze tag and chasing a boy name John around the playground.
That's another thing that was a lot easier at 7. If you liked a boy you chased them around the playground and hit them and ahhh love everyone knows you like them.
No games but the ones handed out from older kids or made up yourself.
I worry a lot these days, life is stressful school is stressful everything is stressful.
But at least with S.L I can be a kid again if only for a few moments in some p.g sims.


I of course was a perfectly innocent child!

Darkness

Some times my mind goes to very dark places. It always goes away it's just a waiting game, for the past month my mind has been in a bad place. I've been sad unmotivated and well depressed, below is a poem I wrote about where my mind goes maybe by reading it you can all better understand me.

can't breathe can't breathe chest tight heart pounding

god this is stupid such a waste of time I'm tired of being tired
sick of being sad why can't I just be happy...screw happy why can't i just be normal.
just one cut just once slice across the skin would make it all feel better
at least for a moment....before the guilt sets in.
dragging my nail across my wrist imagining something else
one quick slice and it's all over...can;t do that though you'll go to hell
everything would be better if you just believed in nothing

if you believe in nothing there are no consequences no rules no guilt....just nothing

nothing sounds peaceful so I hide anything sharp throw it away
i wait for it all to pass and ignore the temptation i know I don't want to end it all but one little slip and oops it;s done
so i remove the temptation.

but I can't remove the thoughts the swirling thoughts a whirlpool of dark pulling me down
I try to swim against the current but it's useless one bad thought leads to another like wreckage in the whirlpool interrupting your strokes
everything is dark here every thing is bad here...walking down the stairs is terrifying as images of falling down run thru my head over and over each image a more violent fall than the last so i take each step very very slow
it's all I can do as I drag my thumb nail across my wrist over and over again picturing something else.
I k now it will pass it always passes i just have to wait. they always pass in time

I hate time.....why wont it pass.

Just can't separate myself from myself.

I know most people prefer to keep their real lives and their second lives separate entities. For me however, that just isn't an option I am who I am be it in real life second life or the special places in my mind that would frighten you.

I've created this blog to rant rave post yadda yadda about that which most of my friends and family just wouldn't understand...namely me, Faith..Fainora the two people are the same only one can change her hair a whole lot easier......

So in the future look forward to rants raves musings rambling posts poetry or just fabulous stuff and cool places I find in both my worlds.