Valentines Day

So as it comes to a close here is a recap of my Valentines Day. Usually I dread this holiday, hate this holiday even I mean really how many ways can you be made to feel bad about yourself for being single. This year Wasn't so bad though

Awkward bizarre but not bad. It started off with me sleeping till 4pm....I'm still sick getting better day by day though and I'm much better than I was.

in real life today I didn't do much I walked to the store I bought myself chocolate and tortillas chips to eat my homemade guacamole. I watched t.v (the princess bride Le sigh) and I played second life.

In second life I did a photo shoot see photo above the chair was a v day gift from tuli and i love it so had to do a photo with it. and I also had a rather awkward conversation with a friend.
This is a real friend and I guess we've been going back and forth Discussing the possibility of having a casual friends with benefits type relationship and I decided that you know what I'm just not that girl. I can't be with someone I don't have feelings for it's just not me. it was an awkward awkward conversation but needed to be had and I feel better for having had it.

So in a nutshell that was my valentines day bizarre awkward weird but all in all not horrible.

it's a damn cold night

I wrote a new poem hope you all like it,

Nothing but the Rain

I want to be in love true love deep ever lasting
the things fairy tales are made of songs are sung about books are written about
I want to be in love
deep profound till death do of part and beyond kind of love
with...a Lil twist.
I want to be your princess pampered and coddled like a porcelain doll my spirit as fragile as my frail façade put upon a pedestal no girl can really live up too
I want to be your kitten

all fluff and fur curled up in your lap purring in your ears imploring you for pets and scritches in that special place only you know my nails piercing your skin as i kneed at you contentedly

I want to be your confidant
the person you come to at the end of a long day i want to hear all about your bad days your good days your mediocre days.

I want to hear the story of your life from exposition to conclusion and even the epilogue no detail to minute too boring after all they are all a part of you.

I want to be your partner your equal your right hand man the person you turn to to help you thru life's trials and tribulations,

the person you come to when you need to make a decision the little voice in your head that helps guide you to whats best for us both the person to go forth with you hand in hand shoulders back head held high to face the world together

I want to be your caretaker when you are sick, when you are sad hurt broken distraught i want to be the person to help pick up the pieces make you chicken soup know the right type of tissues to buy

I want to be the person to coddle you and hold you and run to the store and get you the non yucky medicine despite the fact you are acting like a baby...it's only a cold

I want to be your sex goddess, your slave, your whore on my knees begging tugging at your pants hair wild falling down my shoulders and back your good girl eagerly waiting for every command ready and waiting to fulfill all your wants and needs

your bad girl misbehaving defying you eagerly waiting for whatever punishment you choose to dole out

your lover held desperately in your arms eyes linked held in a passionate embrace neither gentle nor rough a rare time when every movement every touch is the physical expression of every word every thought every feeling we have for each other but lack the words to fully explain.

I want to be your love to be the person you look at and realize is everything you have ever wanted in a woman and more to be the person you can't imagine life without or even what life was before we met the person who randomly invades your thoughts and dreams my scent the look in my eyes the softness of my lips drifting in and out of your consciousness as you sit at work, in the car, on the train...
i want to be all of this and more and refuse to settle for being anything less.

I love Peaches!

In fact I love peach anything!

So today I walked down to the front office and took care of my rent then walked up to my apartment and ran up and down the stairs a while heaping bunch of times. it's 80 degrees today oi! doesn't the weather know it's winter! So after words I came in and had two slices of whole wheat toast with a little country crock light and some of my aunt's yummy yummy yummy homemade peach Jam mmm mmm good I love peach jam and my aunt makes awesome homemade jam.

stinkyness

I am all stinky and sweaty and gross ew!

I just half jogged half walked down to the store (it's not safe ground to jog the whole way i nearly trip stepping in hidden holes just walking) then i speed walked back carrying m y stuff. Then I ran up and down my stairs and whole bunch of times before coming inside and collapsing on my couch...oi I need a shower.

It;s over 70 degrees outside gorgeous day but i wish it were cooler to work out, I'm going to go back out when it gets dark and cooler out and go up and down my stairs a bunch more times.

I've no idea how much I weight cuz well I don't own a scale but I'll let ya'll now if my clothes stop fitting! :P